


'Humanity' is a Synonym for 'Dean'

by aquamarinedean



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bottom Dean, Castiel in the Bunker, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Funny, Human Castiel, Humor, M/M, Men of Letters Bunker, POV Sam Winchester, Sam Ships It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-07
Updated: 2015-07-07
Packaged: 2018-04-08 04:33:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4290990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aquamarinedean/pseuds/aquamarinedean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ficlet taken from my tumblr!</p>
<p>Newly-human Cas is on a mission to 'learn about humanity'.</p>
            </blockquote>





	'Humanity' is a Synonym for 'Dean'

Cas really plays into the whole _‘clueless angel'_ thing a lot, Sam notices. 

Cas doesn’t seem to think that Sam realises he’s doing it, and Dean’s not noticed it at all, he’s too busy making heart-eyes at the ex-angel to notice, well, anything else.

It all starts when they’re in the Impala, somewhere in Ohio, the sounds of Dean’s beloved Zeppelin coming through the stereo, and somewhere in between _Black Dog_ and _Heartbreaker_ , Cas innocently asks: “Dean, what is a hickey?”

Dean swerves, the Impala skidding across the road, and they nearly end up in a ditch.

From this point onwards, Cas is often found asking Dean increasingly inappropriate questions, seemingly on a quest to _'understand humanity’_. Sam thinks his quest is very different. 

Sam recalls a short while ago when they were in a discount shop somewhere in the middle of Missouri, on their way back to the Bunker after a hunt and looking to buy Cas some new clothes, as the old hand-me-downs from both brothers really weren’t doing the job anymore.

Cas had called Dean over to where he was standing, and ceremoniously presented him with a bright pink dildo, proclaiming: “Dean, I would like to buy this.”

Dean had turned a bright tomato-red, chuckling nervously before asking, “Cas, buddy, do you even know what that is?”

Cas turned to Dean then, taking his eyes off the dildo in his hands to look directly at Dean, his eyes narrowing as he stated “No. But I intend to find out.”

Dean choked. 

The dildo now sat like a trophy on the bookshelf in Cas’ room, along with other random and mostly useless items that he had collected while they were on various hunts. He refused to throw them out when he was prompted to do so, claiming that they were 'important in his quest of learning more about humanity’.

For the most part, Sam found Cas’ _'I’m such an innocent, clueless angel, I know nothing of this big, bad world’_ act rather amusing, especially the way Cas managed to make his big brother blush more often than Sam had ever been able to - an extremely impressive accomplishment. 

However, Sam can’t help but wish that Dean would just take the bait already, and work things out with Cas - it’s beginning to get annoying, the way they stare at each other and gaze longingly when they think the other person isn’t looking, hell, Sam doesn’t know how many times he’s caught his brother checking out his best friend’s ass. 

They’ve been at it for almost six years now, and now that the world has calmed down again and the biggest problem the three of them face is finding a new hunt, Sam thinks that they would’ve got together before now. Obviously not.

Things all change, though, when Cas’ _'clueless angel’_ act is focused on Sam, instead of his brother. 

Sam finds it hard not to laugh at the fact that Cas and Dean think he’s buying their whole _'hold up man, it’s not what it looks like, Cas just wants to learn about humanity!’_ act, especially when the situations he finds the two in are simply too absurd for that excuse to be remotely believable. 

It starts off innocent, a shrug and a look that says _'hey, man, what can you do? Cas wants to know what holding hands is like, and who am I to deny him a chance to learn about humanity?’_ , but then the situation quickly changes. 

Sam enters Dean’s room in the Bunker one winter night, intending to propose the idea of a movie marathon, just the three of them, a couple of beers and a shit-ton of popcorn. He is not prepared for what he sees. 

His eyes widen dramatically, as do the other two sets of eyes watching him, and he’s pretty sure he resembles a goldfish right now, mouth opening and closing, but no sound coming out. He knows he should leave the room, get _the hell_ out of there, but his feet won’t move, so he’s stuck there, staring at the sight before him, knowing that he’s going to need some serious mind-bleach to get this image removed from where it’s currently burned into his retinas.

Then it happens. He receives two almost identical looks, one saying: _'hey, man, what can you do? It’s not my fault Cas is currently buried balls-deep in my ass, he just wants to learn about humanity, and who am I to deny him a chance to learn?’_. 

The other look Sam receives seems to be saying almost the same thing as the first one, although more: _'I am a clueless angel, I have no idea what I’m doing, I’m just trying to learn about humanity’_. 

These looks break the spell, causing Sam to laugh and huff out 'idiots’ under his breath as he leaves the room, Cas and Dean sharing a look of confusion, before resuming their earlier activities. 

Sam grins, finally figuring out why Cas always said he was on a quest to 'understand humanity’ and 'learn about humanity’.

_'Humanity’_ is just a synonym for _'Dean’_.


End file.
